Picture sitting across from your partner with a pristine glass pane between the two of you.
You’re at the beginning of your relationship when everything is rosy and romantic.
You’re in love and don’t see the flaws in your significant other.
Now, add a few months or even years to the relationship.
Think of all the underlying irritations about your partner that you’re now aware of.
Annoying as they are, you haven’t talked about them with your significant other.
Visualize these unsaid things as mud that’s been flung onto your side of the glass pane.
How much mud can you see?
Can you see your partner as clearly now?
“Attraction [in a long-term relationship] happens when energy is able to flow freely between two people.
We call this chemistry,” she explained in anInstagramreel.
And resentment is dangerous in a relationship.
Over time, this snowballs into disappointment, bitterness and hard feelings."
And it’s not only chemistry that dies when mud gets in the way.
it’s possible for you to start to lose empathy for your spouse, too.
You may also experience trouble communicating, fueled by an inability to understand where your partner is coming from.
“you should probably have the conversations that you haven’t been having.
you should probably learn conflict resolution with your partner, even on a low-grade level,” she added.
“You may want professional help because this can get really sensitive,” shared Hope.
Unpacking years of resentment would require patience, empathy, kindness, and respect.
Avoid blaming language, generalizing, criticizing, and name-calling, shared psychotherapist Daryl Appleton (viaGood Housekeeping).
Pull from time-tested advice by relationship experts on communication tools.
There’s no need to address all the resentment from the past in one go, either.
Treat the present conversation as a method to dump the air between the two of you.
The goal is to feel close to your partner.
Finally, make a mental note to address tiny resentments (mud) when they happen going forward.
